Big Fish, Small Pond, If You Will
So we had a wonderful evening hanging out with two great friends of ours. Two people i used to see on a daily basis, 40 hours per week. After recalling some things from our short past of 2-1/2 years as also coworkers there came a lot of feelings. First of all, I can't believe it was only 2-1/2 years. I feel like I know these girls forever. Second of all, it felt like an eternity that I had worked there. Third of all, I have done a complete 360 since leaving there. 360 degrees now walking in a extremely positive direction. The third really hit me. I began to feel a lot of regret - and not for the good I remember, the good that i still have in my life, (the people i still keep in touch with) but for so much of the rest of it. The person I was. I think about how hard it was to leave but yet I look back at that me and that me knew the obvious decision was to break free of it. So the regret. I regretted getting wrapped up in the social drama of it all. I felt like I had instantly fit in and this was a first for me. It was like I was re-doing high school as a popular kid and i really went with it. In the moment of the regret I couldn't think of anything good about the entire experience. looking back that person was not the happy me that i am now, not even close and it was so sad to my new self. I wasn't going to bring it up on the ride home but the regret was eating away at me. I turned to Mish and thanked her for all her encouragement for me to move onto this new place I am now. And then I told her about my feelings of regret of the past. Mish shed some light on it like I knew she would explaining to me that it was an important stepping stone. That I wouldn't be able to have gotten this current job had I not worked through those last 2-1/2 years learning lessons both good and bad. learning about myself, learning about how other people work, who to stay away from and how to work it. I guess its always true, that we are all where we need to be at this moment and the past is there to help shape our future. I also think the moral of my story is, talk to Mish if you ever want to feel better about yourself.